IsabelSydow on Nostr: True. If I was to open up about how I lost my mother, I'd be cutting myself to shreds ...

True.
If I was to open up about how I lost my mother, I'd be cutting myself to shreds again, so I have to be very careful about the fact that connecting deeply can also cut deeply by means of second-hand trauma.
But I want her life to have even greater meaning than she ever thought to have had.
I must really work my way through the grief, impotence, & knowledge of the existence of sheer injustice of this world, to be able to "feed" myself the morsels that really should nourish that which will serve me and others well.
It is amazing how self-serving they have programmed us to be, yet in a false way because it ends up not being self-serving at all.
They need us disconnected, numb, compliant, & obedient. To reach that level, they spend billions in moneys & millions of lives.
So what every tiny morsel we can chew, we must intentionally savor so we can digest it properly.
We must find ways to embrace ourselves with love so we can embrace others as well.