Tal Lavin

journalist, author, reads too much. haggard and unblest. trans guy, he/him.

newsletter:
buttondown.email/theswordandthe...

book!! hachettebookgroup.com/titles/talia-l...

contact: [email protected]

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[email protected]

Profile Code

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relay.ditto.pub

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npub1qdhuxn9hc5hcn4kf38hfvtmaeg9ndq02gq73dnr3h8k9yehcqy3qdv0au2

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Last Notes

2026-02-05 21:29:45 UTC

"the count keeps his weed in a giant emerald and one chapter is just about being super high"

2026-02-05 21:24:13 UTC

people who think the count of monte cristo is just a straightforward tale of a dude escaping a prison and revenging himself miss out on quality subplots like "the count is foiled by the power of lesbianism," "the case of the serial domestic poisoner" and "let's talk shit about italian food"

2026-02-05 03:55:37 UTC

ive started and discarded like four novels over the years but Ice Sluts is going to go the distance. the distance south to siberia for aid

2026-02-05 03:53:00 UTC

in which i answer the question, "what if an account of a disastrous polar expedition was the backdrop for passionate gay love between a truly unlikely pair"

2026-02-05 03:48:28 UTC

baby's first novel hit 20,000 words today and ive mapped out the rest of the plot. ice sluts of the frozen north is going places (insane and florid places) (many horrible deaths) (our heroes survive and make love on a floe and the tundra)

2026-02-04 14:49:05 UTC

its cool. its not as if the washington post specifically has been important to our democracy or anything

2026-02-04 04:53:57 UTC

my writing playlist is just "songs i really liked from 2002 to 2010" and its just wordy as hell

2026-02-04 03:51:11 UTC

4 sets of 20 bicep curls with 20lb

2026-02-04 03:47:55 UTC

getting stronk
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2026-02-04 02:20:53 UTC

be present at the Sandwich Fact Divulgence here:
buttondown.com/theswordandt...
The Sword And the Sandwich

2026-02-04 02:16:44 UTC

today i learned a truly interesting Sandwich Fact and soon i shall divulge it to all of you

2026-02-03 05:47:32 UTC

so far the lads have looked at each other and Yearned a lot but now a mysterious event has drawn them together and they've touched hands!!!!! and then there's gonna be so much sex under so many layers of furs

2026-02-03 05:41:42 UTC

Ice Sluts: Hole at the Pole aka Midnight in the North aka Voyage of the Arcturus is *clamoring* to be born

2026-02-03 05:40:49 UTC

update as of today i have written 18,000 words i think i may be possessed by horny polar ghosts? every time i sit down to write 2,000 more words Appear
#nevent1q…jfy8

2026-02-03 02:11:11 UTC

ps if u want a sense of why people seem so zealously to believe themselves to be pure, just, & right while carrying out acts of unimaginable cruelty, do i have a book for you
bookshop.org/p/books/wild...
Wild Faith: How the Christian ...

2026-02-03 01:27:49 UTC

The Polaris Expedition: Not A Fun Time
https://puffball.us-east.host.bsky.network/xrpc/com.atproto.sync.getBlob?did=did:plc:z233fl2onqt7wbjkolynhsi3&cid=bafkreiahwzcheaymtdgirlyytxixrj4r42dp7xltqscwr4uv7btybnclva

2026-02-03 01:24:28 UTC

every chapter in this book (Journey to the Arctic by George Tyson) is a banger. aka "its not my fault the captain got poisoned and everyone was adrift on an ice floe for months guys! im just the navigator." --The Voracity of Shrimps.
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2026-02-03 01:13:21 UTC

"Hans Criticized." "Narwhals useful at carrying off Ball and Ammunition."

2026-02-03 01:11:51 UTC

doing some research reading for my polar sluts book and i miss when chapters had 87 titles
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2026-02-02 05:19:00 UTC

every single day as this wolfhound century progresses i think of this poem by osip mandelstam (who did not escape his own wolfhound century).
но не волк я по крови своей
(the translation is by peter france)
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2026-02-02 04:50:47 UTC

isaac chotiner murdered that man in cold blood and hes still walking around not knowing he bears a fatal wound

2026-02-02 04:01:28 UTC

"tal how is the weather"
"im glad you asked. i have just the book"
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2026-02-02 02:57:39 UTC

yes i stole this joke from my favorite mst3k episode "cave dwellers"
im aware that makes this worse

2026-02-02 02:40:06 UTC

me (every time miles o'brien appears on screen): HOW much o'brien?
MILES o'brien!
my bf not stabbing me with a mekleth yet should be grounds for canonization tbh

2026-02-01 23:30:01 UTC

sorry i know this is obvious i just rewatched Qpid ok. its an all timer episode

2026-02-01 23:20:48 UTC

john de lancie clearly having the time of his fucking life every time he gets to play the horny space god of mischief

2026-02-01 23:14:06 UTC

[omnipotently appearing in picard's bed] mon capitaine.......

2026-02-01 23:13:33 UTC

can we all agree Q was madly in love with Jean-Luc Picard throughout all of TNG

2026-02-01 20:49:35 UTC

could also call it ice sluts of the north
either way these boys are gonna bone down on a floe and there *will* only be one reindeer fur sleeping bag

2026-02-01 20:46:43 UTC

i have broken 10k words on my novel about gay lovers on a doomed 1902 polar expedition, whose working title is "frozen camaraderie," because.... its not heated rivalry, i dunno

2026-02-01 03:56:16 UTC

im more or less fine eating the same thing every day but id like to. you know. enjoy it

2026-02-01 03:55:40 UTC

im trying to lower my a1c and cholesterol so i can keep taking T and im kinda looking for one meal that's like. good for that? ive done one week of salads and im already so saddened by cold wet leaves i suck at this

2026-02-01 01:10:04 UTC

in weather like this (Fucking Cold) your best friend is a very warm bathrobe to be worn at all times tbh. i learned this from an otherwise terrible relationship where i lived through a winter in the North Country, new york's desert full of confederate flags, sleet & heroin up by the canadian border

2026-01-30 23:53:25 UTC

my aim is to become this tiny hairy guy unleashing the magic of the dukduk at a yanni concert. the crowd goes wild youtu.be/tKVzm0SBYtQ
Yanni - "Prelude and Nostalgia...

2026-01-30 23:51:43 UTC

in a probably vain attempt to quit smoking, ive ordered an armenian dukduk online. im going to try to teach myself to play it and produce music instead of poison

2026-01-30 22:22:59 UTC

i know the news is full of fascism and pedophilia so this week i just. dissociated about peanut butter and jelly sandwiches a lot. you can join me in the nutsphere
#nevent1q…u9pl

2026-01-30 18:54:35 UTC

peanut butter and jelly? more like peanut butter and GENDER, i cry as i quote the feminine mystique in an essay about a sandwich
buttondown.com/theswordandt...
Notable Sandwiches #136: Peanu...

2026-01-30 18:53:38 UTC

TODAY: the myth
the icon
the legend
the peanut butter and jelly sandwich
on the making of a myth, and how it became ubiquitous
(alas, george washington carver did not invent peanut butter)
buttondown.com/theswordandt...
Notable Sandwiches #136: Peanu...

2026-01-29 23:46:44 UTC

i think actresses should have substantial parts and also kiss each other sometimes too

2026-01-29 23:24:38 UTC

today i wrote for @[email protected] about how movies should be gayer (and stop drafting actresses for 5 line parts to prove main characters aren't gay for each other) flaminghydra.com/issue-491/#w...
This guy’s in love with you

2026-01-29 17:56:44 UTC

im trying to read about the 12th century Anarchy in England but nearly everyone involved is named either Henry or Matilda and im very confused

2026-01-29 04:53:17 UTC

i learned so much about peanut butter for this week's column
for one thing, george washington carver didn't invent it, although he certainly popularized use of the peanut in the Cotton Belt & evangelized it as a nitrogen fixing crop

2026-01-29 02:56:05 UTC

80 bicep curl reps with 20lb weights today! soon ill be strong enough to haul peas to people who need food during the revolution

2026-01-28 04:03:42 UTC

i have attained tboy pubestache. every hair is a treasure to me, a seam of precious ore hacked from the soil of a transphobic world
https://puffball.us-east.host.bsky.network/xrpc/com.atproto.sync.getBlob?did=did:plc:z233fl2onqt7wbjkolynhsi3&cid=bafkreidpjgg3vwnob7wyhbb4uoflucff7glg4ondc6yoip7hdogebmdp3e

2026-01-27 04:22:23 UTC

pouring allllll my feelings into my polar explorer gay novel. 9,000 words in 3 days as if possessed by an arctic spirit. these cold gay sluts are *gonna* bone on an ice floe in a reindeer fur double sleeping bag god damnit

2026-01-27 02:45:40 UTC

but like a tungsten cube my heart is heavy but strong

2026-01-26 23:10:15 UTC

also being rejected by a parent is a cheat code to feeling worthless and disposable tbqh!

2026-01-26 23:01:34 UTC

i just think blocking your kids phone number and refusing to answer electronic or snail mail for no reason other than theyre trans, is not cool

2026-01-26 23:00:50 UTC

my cube was rejected and ive moved from crushed to furious tbh
#nevent1q…qeve

2026-01-24 03:44:23 UTC

i wrote about a sandwich*
*and being trans
buttondown.com/theswordandt...
Notable Sandwiches #135: Patty...

2026-01-24 02:20:59 UTC

im writing fiction for the first time in years and it turns out its making up little guys you fall madly in love with

2026-01-23 18:53:33 UTC

"Some people who loved you when you tried to fit will not love you anymore. They want to know that what they order will not present any undue challenge... they order their lives that way, and want that for you, they want you back in a warm and orderly place..."
buttondown.com/theswordandt...
Notable Sandwiches #135: Patty...

2026-01-23 18:47:41 UTC

I wrote about the patty melt, about not fitting into molds, and about the pain & joy of a life that doesn't fit a predetermined menu: buttondown.com/theswordandt...
Notable Sandwiches #135: Patty...

2026-01-23 03:42:13 UTC

the sword i ordered while very drunk on new years eve just got here. apparently drunk me also loves moby dick
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https://puffball.us-east.host.bsky.network/xrpc/com.atproto.sync.getBlob?did=did:plc:z233fl2onqt7wbjkolynhsi3&cid=bafkreidk4fyj3tnurg3u6dveqktjlbagotp2hje2k3gi4xxhgdz5to6kra

2026-01-23 01:02:54 UTC

me (procrastinating on Book 1 by writing my novel but stalled on the novel): what if i wrote a gay romance set on a polar expedition

2026-01-22 22:42:54 UTC

the cube has arrived. lets see if this works
#nevent1q…qeve

2026-01-22 02:12:23 UTC

the song of the lioness will be reproduced by memory and transmitted as samizdat in the gulag

2026-01-22 02:02:13 UTC

im saving "rereading all of discworld" for like. the next step of worse

2026-01-22 01:59:42 UTC

ok its time for the serious comfort reads now *pulls out curse of chalion by lois mcmaster bujold like john wick pulling out an AK-47*

2026-01-21 23:05:05 UTC

polar exploration is so fucking fascinating

2026-01-21 23:03:59 UTC

rounding out the top 10:
empire of ice and stone by buddy levy
ninety degrees north by fergus fleming
battle of ink and ice by darrell hartman

2026-01-21 21:35:27 UTC

(the last one is charles francis hall, my personal favorite polar explorer)

2026-01-21 20:07:45 UTC

i miss the old ways americans used to be weird about greenland, like getting iced in on ships off its coast trying to find the north pole. or inventing a fictional continent north of it for book sales. or getting poisoned by their crew for being a maniac and everyone fucks off back to greenland

2026-01-21 07:47:10 UTC

as a man i know no man can resist the strangely heavy cube

2026-01-21 07:46:35 UTC

i got my dad a 1 inch tungsten cube and said "without you my heart is heavier than tungsten. i miss you. please talk to me again." i consider this using the power of newly acquired masculinity to fight transphobia

2026-01-20 18:04:00 UTC

besides youre talking to an aragorn/boromir shipper of old

2026-01-20 17:58:10 UTC

me, watching movies where a female character is invented just so the main guy can kiss her for 5 seconds & prove he's not gay: this shortchanges everyone. movies should be 500% more homosexual

2026-01-20 04:48:49 UTC

i fully appreciate that it does wonders for others but for me its just communing with my anxiety which wants to murder me with glass shards

2026-01-20 04:05:57 UTC

turns out your parent cutting you off for being trans is hella depressing

2026-01-20 03:24:07 UTC

oops! accidental four hour depression nap!

2026-01-19 05:51:39 UTC

like obviously the cia should have just buried the report or maybe gotten rid of it not go on a murder spree. or quietly kill turner in his apartment and make it seem natural idk

2026-01-19 05:50:18 UTC

to my mind the best spy thriller is geoffrey household's Rogue Male (1939), about a guy who attempts to kill hitler and then has to go into hiding from british nazi sympathizers, it owns

2026-01-19 05:28:46 UTC

oh man what an ending

2026-01-19 05:24:32 UTC

i mean, hes evil, but he's got the bod

2026-01-19 05:23:04 UTC

how can you watch day of the jackal and not root for the jackal instead of the security state
#nevent1q…mqfx

2026-01-19 05:21:19 UTC

I mean, nothing against Charles de Gaulle, but I've obviously been rooting for sinister sexual chameleon the Jackal this entire time

2026-01-19 03:32:00 UTC

Honeytrapping a guy by making him fall off a horse is original

2026-01-19 03:28:24 UTC

i call this duet "just spies being dudes"

2026-01-19 03:24:37 UTC

oh to be a sexy guy in a silk bowtie wandering around 1960s paris

2026-01-19 03:23:00 UTC

oh wow this is just about being a cool international assassin. i love it

2026-01-19 02:43:38 UTC

day of the jackal time
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2026-01-19 02:41:15 UTC

Time skip! Now watching: Day of the Jackal (1973 original) for a high stakes spy thriller double feature
#nevent1q…8qk3

2026-01-19 02:36:26 UTC

so many movies about intense male relationships (antagonistic or friendly/admiring) have like, a lead bobber of compulsory heterosexuality thrown in just in case anyone might imply queer thoughts. once you start noticing it you dont stop noticing it

2026-01-19 02:33:31 UTC

"What if there was a CIA... inside the CIA?"
The plot: absurd; the vibes: immaculate. Redford's fling should have been with Max Von Sydow though.

2026-01-19 01:29:46 UTC

this plot is very convoluted but otoh, robert redford is running around being sneaky to a great soundtrack

2026-01-19 01:03:55 UTC

man how about faye don'taway. idk im not a fan of her in ingenue roles she always looks like a vampire

2026-01-19 00:39:46 UTC

robert redford in various coats, shirts. with and without glasses. end of comment
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