#horror and #ttrpg enthusiast.
Public Key
npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Profile Code
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2026-02-05T21:11:47Z Event JSON
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"content": "{\"name\":\"Artemis\",\"about\":\"#horror and #ttrpg enthusiast.\\n\\nI'm a bisexual anti-capitalist \u0026 aspiring propagandist. We're not free until we're *all* free.\\n\\nI sometimes have updates from my brother \\\"Apollo\\\" on the ground in Minneapolis.\\n\\nGuillermo del Toro fan account. Anarchist pep-talks are provided free of charge. Solidarity forever!\",\"picture\":\"https://cdn.masto.host/dicecamp/accounts/avatars/110/198/482/815/057/766/original/e3ec378705234ec5.jpg\",\"banner\":\"https://cdn.masto.host/dicecamp/accounts/headers/110/198/482/815/057/766/original/ac1d03f44a7f8ded.jpg\",\"nip05\":\"[email protected] \",\"fields\":[[\"Location\",\"In your dreams\"],[\"Pronouns\",\"she/her, they/them\"]]}" ,
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Last Notes npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis Seriously, this realization is transformative to me. I'm sure it is obvious to some people, but *I* judge myself harshly for not being "original" enough. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis Seriously, this realization is transformative to me. I'm sure it is obvious to some people, but *I* judge myself harshly for not being "original" enough. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis I can make as many versions of an image as I want. I can make as many pieces as I want using the same concept & method. I can concentrate on any subject I want. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis The other thing that has helped is art therapy videos. I sometimes make something later following the instructions, but sometimes I just watch them create & listen to what they have to say about letting go of control & the fear of judgment & making art because it is healing to express yourself in this way. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis I really never thought I could actually become a person who makes art as a just a regular part of my life. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis My spouse helped me a lot just by teasing me for the way I kept saying "I'm not a real artist & this isn't real art" (not in those exact words) after I started playing with the ink brushes I got for Christmas. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis @nprofile…cm58 npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis Another thing I've been reminding myself is that artists iterate. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis You know what I was saying about how art doesn't need to be perfect? I better live by that myself. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis I make art now in part because I just am not comfortable with the tech bros' desire to somehow seize the means of creative production. It makes me a wee bit suspicious, you know. Why try to take art out of the hands of individual artists? npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis Supposed depictions of historical events without costume designers is an interesting choice. I can't imagine any of the clothes depicted make any sense let alone are accurate to the period. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis @nprofile…sxam npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis @nprofile…zaxj npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis @nprofile…ygus npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis I'm doing a 9x12 page right now. It's a big space to fill, & I'm having a hard time letting myself discover what I'm making in the process. It feels like I should already know what it "should" look like. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis A couple things I've learned about my own creative process: npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis @nprofile…fcdr npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis I don't know what either of these are about, but they are apparently done. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis @nprofile…gfcd npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis My husband works at an auto parts store in Wisconsin, & he hasn't seen a single MAGA hat in his store for nearly a year at this point. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis They are fragile, & desperate, & not actually good at predicting what people will do. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis It was also supposed to make what's left of their base feel good, but it's mostly making them have to deal with more & more uncomfortable confrontations. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis There is always a balance to strike here in communicating about this: it can both be true that they have a lot of power to inflict massive harm & do unbelievable violence (& it is true) & that they are really disorganized & incompetent & only getting worse. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis @nprofile…tj4e npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis Their desperation betrays them though. If they were strong, if they had real backing & support, they would not be desperately trying to rig elections in the most loud & obvious ways. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis I'm not saying it's nothing to worry about. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis I would really, really prefer that the regime does *not* successfully manage to rig elections, BUT npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis @nprofile…4n05 npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis @nprofile…k6h4 npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis Remember: if your unique expression of self wasn't dangerous to them & to their systems, they wouldn't work so hard to beat it out of you. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis Our emotional wounds are one reason it's so fucking hard to actually get together & show these fascist motherfuckers what's what. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis Call it the patriarchy or capitalism or whatever, pick whichever of the many compounded facets of the imperialist kyriarchy you want to call out: all of them require conformity & compliance. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis Pretty much everyone experiences that, though. There's a reason emo was a big deal for a quick second there. A lot of young people were feeling silenced & ignored. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis I'm the girl who listened to "I am a Rock" by Simon & Garfunkel on repeat as a kid, just trying to find a way to not feel the way I felt. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis I'm settling into the idea that my emotional experiences are not so completely different from other people's—the way I often felt as a child—but that I experience emotion at a higher *intensity* than a lot of other people. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis Art can help people emotionally in a lot of different ways. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis What I described above is not exclusive to my experience. We've all been conditioned towards conformity. We've all had our inner voices silenced. And creative expression has a lot of power to potentially help us find our voices. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis Watercolors are also a great way to start painting, I think. If you don't need to get fancy, a basic watercolor set is very cheap & is good enough to start painting, even if it's a far cry from the really good paint. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis I have to say... picking up paints changed my life artistically. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis For appropriate theming to my Fedi instance, I should say that I should have known Apollo would eventually get involved organizing to help people from a story he told me about a D&D campaign he was in. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis I've been posting a lot about my difficulties with some of my siblings, but at least I can say I've never been prouder of Apollo than I am now. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis Lots of people are doing the same work throughout the city: organizing to keep people housed & clothed & fed & able to buy their medications & all the other necessaries. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis I don't know the details of everything he's doing & I don't ask, because ain't nobody trying to lead the Feds to anyone they may be targeting, but what Apollo & his friends have focused in on is meeting people's basic needs right now: keeping people safe & keeping them going. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis Hey all, Apollo (my brother in Minneapolis) asked me to share the below GoFundMe. This was set up by the folks he's working with right now. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis Aside: npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis Sure, I have specific fears for my individual future, but the thing we've feared is happening *now*. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis And of course, if people think we're being "overly dramatic" about things now, a lot of them would keep saying that to us *while we're being dragged away to a concentration camp by government thugs*. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis "First they came for..." etc. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis It feels so fucking melodramatic to be like "oh, the fascists may soon be throwing people like me in death camps". It's really annoying that this is NOT melodrama but real life. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis Hey, let's all promise each other right now that no matter what, we will not just settle down & accept these concentration camps. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis I mean, once we've gotten through some of this bullshit, we're going to need to talk about prison abolition & restorative justice, because, y'all, prisons are all torture. It's not fucking okay. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis It's fucking obscene what's happening right now, what ICE is getting away with. It's terrorism. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis His face is *definitely* in their database by now, because they record everyone, but I have no particular reason to think Apollo would be singled out. He has been more involved in the "helping people" side of things & less the stuff that would make it likely for them to want to terrorize or injure him, unlike some other people who have been targets of harassment & violence. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis Some ICE agents did wander around the alley behind his house recently. They walked right past his garage. Also walked across his lawn. Didn't seem to be a specific threat to him or anything but there are just groups of masked gunmen traipsing around through people's yards. Normal stuff. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis Brother has heard reports that ICE agents in Minneapolis have started drawing guns on random cars driving by, whether they are observers or just...people in cars going about their day. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis I would never have thought of paying money to get cats' nails trimmed, but that's what my spouse prefers to do, & honestly it is kind of nice. It's safer to play some of the games they like when their clawses are duller. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis Our younger cat seems to resent it when we take her to get her nails trimmed, but the older one loves it. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis Also I should note the other benefit from sharing on here is the encouragement or insight that other folks often have to offer. So many of you are so kind & uplifting & have the wisdom of your own experiences. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis I try to tell my male friends "I love you", because the idea that men don't need emotional care, affection, & softness is BS, but it's easier to feel safe expressing genuine emotion & care with women. So with trans femme friends transitioning, that switch often gets flipped where I feel "oh, I can safely express affection towards this person." npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis I finally know what I would tell my child-self to encourage her: "you hurt because you feel things with great intensity & urgency, but someday your ability to recognize & speak about how you feel will help you connect to other people who are also in pain & make them feel seen or give them words that they needed for something they were feeling." npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis And I get it...it feels rude & almost meanspirited to pull back the curtain on the inner workings of relationships that started in childhood. It can feel like you're revealing things that weren't meant to ever be seen. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis In any case, now that I have an anonymous presence far away from where my family is likely to stumble across it, at least I don't feel that I'm actually exposing anyone. I'm just talking about what I felt & what I experienced. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis It's good to find out when I post personal things about my emotional journey & my family relationships that people often find something relatable, or encouraging, or insightful there. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis I literally cried tears of happiness & gratitude once seeing someone say they needed to hear some of the things I was saying about my relationship to my sister to help them understand their experience with their sister. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis @nprofile…euty npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis @nprofile…urvf npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis FYI, the novelization of Pan's Labyrinth is a delight. I wasn't sure how much I liked it at first, but it has captivated my attention this evening. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis @nprofile…eav2 npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis But in any case, hilarious that as a young conservative Christian I was like "whoops! I think they fucked up Christian education. These people can't think for themselves." npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis For whatever it's worth, I do think several of the teachers I had at that college were legitimate truth-seekers. I don't think everyone was being dishonest about that. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis The story around "classical" Christian education is that it's about learning to think critically & analytically as well as teaching Christian doctrine. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis My freshman year at my tiny little Christian college I was shocked & appalled to discover that most of my fellow students didn't think for themselves. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis Their attitude appeared to be "I said the right answer. What more do you want?" npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis Me in college, a "classically educated" homeschool graduate: my classmates' Christian schools failed them! They were supposed to learn to think critically but instead they just parrot what they think the people in charge want to hear. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis ADHD means backing up the video tutorial again & again to see the step you missed while you weren't paying attention...and forgetting every time to pay attention. 5th time is the charm, right? npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis Anyway, sometimes when someone is being very specific about words it's because they are trying to understand you, not necessarily because they are trying to dunk on you for using language "wrong" or something. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis But you said... npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis The biggest tell that I'm autistic is probably the number of times I have been accused of being "pedantic" or "getting hung up on semantics." npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis Another way to put this: I was an autistic child, so I often believed that people meant things literally when they were actually saying them for social purposes & to demonstrate belonging to a group. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis I guess what the Christian faith meant to me when I believed was that I could commune with God—a perfectly Good being who is Love itself (don't ask me to square that with Hell; I tried for a long time, & it doesn't work)—and learn how to live a life of integrity, justice, & compassion in whatever circumstances I found myself in. I would be "saved" by Jesus's righteousness, but I was required to do what was right to the best of my ability. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis I no longer "obey" anything. But I still spend a lot of time trying to determine what the best thing I can do is & then try to do it. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis The Bible teachers my Dad liked best (I'd call them "scholars", but that may be a stretch) emphasized the idea that sometimes the right thing to do is incredibly unpopular. Sometimes doing the "will of God" could potentially put you in conflict with the entire world, but you should do it anyway, trusting that you will be justified before God for doing your best to obey the principles you were handed. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis My understanding was that we had the general guidebooks: the Bible (& in a lesser role, the teachings of church leaders throughout history), & then in our lives, it was our personal duty as individuals to live in accordance with those principles. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis Hadn't thought about this much in terms of the process of leaving authoritarianism, but I think it's actually significant that I was mentally writing my own personal code of conduct throughout my adolescence. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis Also it's interesting: that was a rule for me. I followed it strictly, even when I didn't want to. But it was a rule I gave myself—no one told me to do that. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis I stuck scrupulously to that rule I gave myself, even when I did have Thoughts & Opinions about what he did or said. There just didn't seem to be any point in adding in another voice making demands of him. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis At least this really does confirm to me that probably the best thing I did for Apollo when we were teens was giving myself the rule that I would never tell him what to do (literally 5 other people in the family already were) npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis So much emotional healing really comes back to "it wasn't personal" & "it wasn't about you." npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis For it to be personal, she would need to have an identity with her own perspectives & opinions. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis So the conflict & the wound it caused me was deeply personal to me. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis God, I wish I had understood sooner that it was about group conformity to her. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis I have been told many times that she was probably a scared child pushing her insecurities on me, & I mostly accepted that explanation, but it still didn't add up. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis Ok, I think I am finally integrating this. I don't recall who recommended the book, but apparently it's knocking some things loose. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis I did not see her as a "follower" because she was my older sister & constantly told me what to do. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis Is she really sitting around thinking "all I ever did was try to help her"? Again, if so, weird, because I told her not to "help" me. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis But I dunno, I guess if she was desperately wishing someone would *tell her what to do* in very clear terms, maybe she thought everyone wanted to be told what to do? npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis Thinking of my sister as an authoritarian follower does at least explain one baffling thing from my childhood. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis She acted shocked & offended when I reacted with hurt & anger to her corrections. She never thought she ever did anything wrong, even though she was constantly tearing down my self-esteem & self-confidence. She would not apologize, no matter how harsh, critical, & completely unnecessary her remarks were. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis I always thought she was a hypocrite & would have hated having an older sister teaching her how to perform girlhood/womanhood "correctly" just as much as I did, but maybe she was completely sincere. npub1csfewy4ex8kvllh0wu9v960psleecfw9qx088c8qg8698xdery9q7vhh7f Artemis It's strange to me, the thought of being scared of not having someone controlling you & telling you what to do. I've spent much of my life vehemently asserting my right to make my own decisions & defending the right of others to do the same.
